B.O.B. and the Catch 22 of Black Skepticism

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few days (or doing your best to follow this abysmal cartoonish charade that is our political process, either or right?), you’ll know that one of this generation’s brighter hip hop stars has decided to go full retard. Apparently B.O.B., aka Bobby Ray, believes that the earth is flat.

I don’t know if he’s trolling or if this is a publicity stunt, but for the past few days, B.O.B. has been tweeting his skepticism and all-out disbelief that the earth is actually round.

He has proof too. Like, lil’ dude is goin’ all in.

Eventually, the scientific community — namely famed and cool-as-all-hell scientist Neil Degrassi Tyson — decided to step in and set Bobby straight.

This led to a lot of shit (nothing malicious mind you, just a good natured back-and-forth) that led to B.O.B. dropping a Neil Degrasse Tyson “diss” song titled “Flatline.”

This all culminated in Tyson closing the book on the whole deal during an appearance on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore.

Hopefully, that’s it. Hopefully that ended it all, because it’s all been so dumb.

The earth isn’t flat, B.O.B.

But here’s the thing. Everybody sniggling and giggling at B.O.B. and his reluctance to simply accept any truth he’s given, probably do so entirely unaware of a phenomenon that Bobby is caught up in.

It’s called black skepticism.

And black skepticism is both real, warranted and scary.

Less we forget, it wasn’t that long ago that we learned about how the Chicago Police Department, possibly in concert with local officials, conspired to hide and cover up the shooting death of Laquan McDonald; official(s) in the city of Flint, Michigan, covertly and knowingly poisoned huge swaths of its citizenry; not to mention those police shootings after police shootings that have exposed how many police have at least a habit of hiding and/or covering up the evidence of police misconduct.

(Thank God for those police body cams brought to you, without acknowledgment from the Black Lives Matter movement.)

Universal Change: Bought to you by your favorite, friendly, neighborhood Negro Men & Women.

So B.O.B.’s paranoia isn’t necessarily unwarranted. In fact, it’s kind of expected…or at least it should be.

Look, I know he sounds crazy, but what would you think if I said that my doctor was secretly a government agent giving me fake drugs because they wanted to watch me die. Crazy, right? But yeah, that happened.

If I said guys covert government agents in black suits were tapping my phone (I know because of the clicking), because my pastor was a Rev. Wright style prophetic preacher shouting down Babylon, you’d think I was nuts. Except, yeah, that actually happened too.

Or maybe I tell you that your government was in cahoots with a foreign entity that wanted to funnel drugs into America, while getting the benefit of the “blind eye” by officials. Oh wait, THAT ALREADY HAPPENED.

So no, B.O.B. isn’t insane…not necessarily.

Okay, maybe he is.


Look, recently, black people and our natural, HEALTHY skepticism has started to pervert itself.

While we have every right to question our government, we have now taken to believing in things like the Illuminati, evil devil-worshiping Masons and whether or not Sept. 11 was predicted, decades in advance, with a folded dollar bill.

It’s like we overshot the ship.

While we have every reason to be suspicious and vigilant of secret government actions as it affects our communities, we instead have become fixated with whether Jay-Z and Beyonce are a part of some super secret clubs of devil-worshiping billionaires and it’s entirely stupid.

The fact of the matter is: The real billionaires who are running the world aren’t secret.

They never have been. They’re right in plain view on front street and anyone who wants can look them up. Christ, they have social security cards and drivers licenses. They have library cards!!

Trust, you know most of them: Rupert Murdoch, Bill Gates, the Koch brothers, Carlos Slim Helu and his family…stop me if any of these seem familiar.

These are the guys who are running things, these are the rich guys pulling the strings that keep all of us average people down. These should be the people of which we should be skeptical.

These are the corporate powers that be, these are the political lobbyists that affect our legislative and executive processes. These are the people we should be worried about.

But we don’t.

Instead, we worry about whether there are triangles in Rihanna’s most recent video. (Trust me, there are

Ah, black’s healthy skepticism has gone off the rails.

Instead of keeping us vigilant against real-world dangers and threats to our communities, wayward black skepticism has led us down this weird road where Obama has turned into some strange puppet for a greater, larger, covert governing body; where the moon landing didn’t happen; where Oprah, Al Sharpton and Tyler Perry are members of a secret black organization that blackballed Dave Chappelle; and where, despite 500 years or more of scientific discover, quietly creeping powers that be have secretly convinced the world that it’s actually not flat, but round.

Damnit, I’m sorry. I like B.O.B. too much for this, can we just reminisce on when he wasn’t retarded:

Ahhhh, that’s better.

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